Boundaries

I like this quote from the book, Boundaries:

“The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem...Maintaining your boundaries is good for other people; it will help them learn what their families of origin did not teach them: to respect other people.

“Do not let anger be a cue for you to do something. People without boundaries respond automatically to the anger of others. They rescue, seek approval, or get angry themselves. There is great power in inactivity. Do not let an out-of-control person be the cue for you to change your course. Just allow him to be angry and decide for yourself what you need to do.” (p.248)

Not acting is sometimes the hardest thing to do, yet I've seen it work over and over again. Stare down a room of rowdy kids without saying anything and they'll quiet down on their own. I need to practice inaction!

Nothing much to share... but everyday is a universe

My new mantra is:

Every day is a universe.

Every time I find myself wishing that time would go by faster, or I had something more interesting to do/look at, I say this to myself... and the world seems to focus and I see more details--everything is really, actually nicer. It feels like a mantra is supposed to feel: as if it changes something inside of me.

When I was in high school, my American Lit class studied Thoreau and Emerson. I don't remember who said that anything could look good in the right light, but I think it was one of them and I think it's true. One of them also said he felt like a giant transparent eyeball... Trancendentalism was way cool.

So, jumbled thoughts for Monday. At least I'm blogging again!

LOL

I voted! A tradition I learned from my mom

When I was a little girl, I remember going with my mom and watching her vote. The place we voted at was inside the city motor pool or fire station--I'm not sure which because I only remember a few things distinctly. It was a large building that had booths with fabric curtains set up inside. Outside the building, people shouted, held signs and gave out slips of paper that encouraged us to vote for a particular candidate. The booths were large and the election helpers would give my mom a card that she put into the machine. I remember the metal on metal sound the curtain made when you closed it. It surrounded you. The voting was very private.

I went to early voting this year. Apparently, El Paso, TX had the lowest early voter turn-out in a decade! I can believe it. It seemed empty where I went to vote, though the lighting was cheerful and everyone was glad to see me to use the touch-screens of democracy.

I vote because I want my children to vote. I vote because I want politicians to know I exist and that I'm watching. I know that as individuals, our voices are often limited or seem limited. But if everyone showed that they were paying attention, by casting a vote... one way or another... "they" will know and take notice in the government.

I miss my mother. I hope that carrying on in her footsteps in small ways, ways that I can remember her and cherish those memories, too, that she lives on. I always think of her when I vote.

Messages in a bottle

Social media is a like a message in a bottle. It's posted, written, created and then shared out into a sea of networked sites. Some messages get picked up and read, but I wonder how many are just out there bobbing around in the Internet? How many people have sent out a message that no one's read?

Is it useful to write something down that no one might read? Journals and diaries have been used by individuals for years to write about what is going on and how they feel about life and what they see around them. Journals and diaries weren't meant to be read by others, but they are written down by individuals anyway. The usefulness comes for the writer of the diary: it helps solidify ideas, make thoughts concrete and physically malleable.

When diaries are shared, it's an insight into something that is often very personal, but was never meant to be shared.

A message in a bottle is meant to be read. It's written with hopes that someone, somewhere will see it, find it and a connection is made. But the writer doesn't know who, where or when it will be read or if it's ever read.

Our social media messages in a bottle are meant to be shared. Many of them are as personal as a diary, but really, we tweet, blog, share status updates and locations because we want people to find us, know us and connect--even if the connection is asynchronous. We want to be "heard." To read a thought is to keep it alive.

Oh... and happy NaBloPoMo!

Election thoughts -- I was so excited...

Last election, the 2008 race, I was so excited.

I'm going to let you know up front that I'm not terribly political... I believe in having my voice heard and I write my representatives on various levels on my opinion over many different issues that are important to me. I think that's an important part of being an American in a democracy--that our voices are heard. That's why I vote and that's why I tell my reps what I think is important. But I really hate polarization in politics. It's really not too important to me whether someone is a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian or whatever; I just want them to act responsibly, tell the truth (as much as possible!) and listen to constituents. I do have my own leanings, which I'm sure you could guess at, but that's neither here nor there nor what I really want to write about today.

I wanted to write about how excited I felt last election. I remember driving home and listening to debates on the radio between the candidates and I couldn't believe that in my lifetime, a woman and a black man were serious candidates for a ticket. That meant a lot to me. I'm a mom, and my children are bi-racial. I made sure to talk to them about what was going on. When Hillary Clinton was a serious candidate for the Democratic ticket, I was thrilled. When I found out about Obama, I was also thrilled: he was just like my children who are half black, half white. I thought, what a great time for them to be alive and see that America is truly a place where anyone can succeed--no matter their race or gender. I've always wanted to see a woman as a President, too--and I hope I live to see that also.

One thing I've noticed during Obama's presidency is how proud my daughter is of him. She really does feel he is "just like her." Her remarks are often something like "he has skin like me" or "his parents were like mine." Pretty cool for a little girl to identify with the President. One of my daughter's favorite books is Grace for President by Kelly DiPuchhio and illustrated by LeUyen Pham. In the book, Grace discovers to her dismay that there has never been a woman US President and she runs for class president. It really captures the kind of excitement an election can bring.

I'm sorry the excitement is gone from this election. I miss it terribly. Last election, it felt like history was being made and this year it feels like "business as usual."